Today, it’s been one year since my father died. I reread what I wrote in the days that followed, and had two thoughts. One…I still feel exactly the same way. Two…Someone needs to hear this. Maybe for the first time. Maybe again. So…here you go…
As I write these words, it has been ten days since my father’s battle with cancer came to an end. I got the call at 7:10am on Friday, April 1st (no joke).
“We lost him.”
With those three words, the battle was over. We knew the end was coming. We had known since last June. Now the end was here.
He died sleeping peacefully in his own bed. (The way we all dream of going.)
He died mercifully. (Only a week earlier the doctor said the tumor had likely spread to his brain.)
He died happy. (After all, the last thing he ate was one of my wife’s chocolate chip cookies.)
As you might imagine, there is a vast array of emotions passing through my heart and mind. Don’t worry, you are not about to read a blog-post-turned-6000-word-journal-entry.
While there has certainly been a lot of feeling, there has also been quite a bit of thinking.
Thinking about how he lived life…and how I want to live life. Thinking about the parts I want to emulate, and truth-be-told, the parts I don’t.
You see, my relationship with my dad was, well, complicated. The first couple decades were close and wonderful. The last couple decades were…as I said…complicated.
In these last ten days, here are the thoughts that have bubbled to the surface of my mind (at least so far): [Read more…] about 4 Thoughts as I Say Goodbye to My Dad